I asked my fiancee, 30, to sign a prenup because of her expenses. She rejected it. Would it be wrong to secretly put my assets in a trust?

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Dear Moneyist, I am a 28-year-old man marrying a 30-year-old woman. I have accumulated about $ 100,000 in student loan debt by earning two graduate degrees; luckily I got a financial job with unlimited earning potential, just intense work hours, so I’m not too worried about paying off my loans if Biden‘s administration doesn’t help me.

However, my fiancee does not have student loans and does not have as high an income cap as I do, but she has a big spending problem, whereas I am a saver by nature. We are getting married next year and will also buy a house next year. Both expenses will be covered by us with limited help from our parents. The Moneyist: I married my husband 20 years ago. He has 4 children and I have 1. I paid for our house. Who should inherit it after we leave? Due to my fiancee’s inability to save and her overspending, I know that the financial burden will fall on my shoulders. We’ve talked about her habits, but she can’t change, so I recommended keeping our finances separate until I can see more financial responsibility from her. I also mentioned prenuptial agreements to safeguard my assets in case things go wrong. That conversation didn’t go well and I think it will create resentment before we get married and could possibly be the cause of the divorce in the future if she felt compelled to sign one. I love her very much, but I’m really worried. A real estate attorney friend recommended that I transfer my assets to a trust and even buy our first home in a trust. Am I wrong to consider this plan and not discuss it with my future wife since I already know that she will not accept a prenuptial agreement? If things don’t work out, I have no intention of leaving her high and dry, but I also don’t want to lose everything I’ve gained from being an aggressive saver my entire life. PS: I live in a community property state. KC The Moneyist: My wife found a half brother through Ancestry.com. Are we morally or ethically obligated to share in his father’s inheritance? Do you want to read more? Follow Quentin Fottrell on Twitter and read more of his columns here. Dear KC: Putting your home and other assets in trust without telling your fiancée would break trust in the relationship, as much as that trust currently exists, and that would end their marriage sooner than if she felt compelled to sign a prenuptial agreement. agreement. She would find out sooner or later, probably sooner. You don’t seem to trust her very much, as she is. You cannot have any kind of relationship without trust: a friendship or professional association or even a boss / employee relationship is founded when that trust is broken. That is, because you are always waiting for something strange to happen and nobody likes to live or work under a cloud of suspicion. It certainly doesn’t bode well for a long, happy, loving marriage. Family lawyers, in principle, do not rule out a trust to protect themselves in the event of a divorce. “The key to using a trust to protect assets in a divorce is what’s in the fine print,” according to Lomurro, Munson, Comer, Brown & Schottland, a law firm based in Freehold, NJ. “The terms and conditions of the trust should be written carefully.” “If a spouse established a trust before the marriage, the assets deposited in that trust are generally considered separate property as long as the funds are not combined with the marital funds at any time,” the law firm adds. But there are also downsides to setting up such a trust, including costs, filing tax returns, and other restrictions on those assets. Ultimately, if you have to put that much time and effort into setting up some kind of home asset trust, you should pay equal attention, for now at least, to whether or not you should get married. Interview 100 divorced couples and 50% of people will say, “You can’t change people.” The other 50% will be that person from that marriage who could not be changed. His wife has made her buying stance clear. She is not to turn. That just leaves you. The Moneyist: My sister became my father’s attorney-in-fact, took out a reverse mortgage, and used up her principal. What I can do? Hello MarketWatchers. Take a look at Moneyist’s private FB Facebook group, -2.24%, where we search for answers to life’s thorniest money problems. Readers write to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Quentin Fottrell is a MarketWatch Moneyist columnist. You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com. By emailing your questions, you agree to have them posted anonymously on MarketWatch.